To let go or to search for it again.....

Have you ever realised that you’re actually crazy about something you never even knew you were crazy about?

Yes… humans. Like me. I can be quite blur in moments like these. I don’t always see it until it’s pointed out to me directly, or until the signs become so obvious I can no longer ignore them.

It never really crossed my mind that I could feel so strongly about something. Only when I lost it did I begin to feel the weight of that loss, and how much I had actually treasured it.

It almost feels like facing death in a way.

So often, we only begin to value life when we feel like we might lose it. When we’re confronted with how fragile it is, how quickly it can be taken away. Only then does it become real.

When we think we have time, we live as if time will always be there. Things feel close, almost guaranteed. So we put them aside. We don’t think too much about them. We don’t act. Even when the signs are right in front of us.

But when reality finally hits, and we take a moment to really check our own hearts, everything becomes clear. What we truly feel begins to surface.

No matter how much we try to hide it, no matter how many masks we put on, it still finds a way to show. Maybe not obvious to others, but deep down, we know exactly what is going on within us.

And that is the hardest part.

So now I find myself asking…
Do I let it go, or do I go searching for it again?

If I had the chance, I think I would turn back time.