Being loving...that difficult?
Loving the people around us isn't easy at all. Be it family, friends, for some boyfriends or girlfriends. It all takes a good 2 way communication and openess, understanding, tolerating, persevearance, patience, etc..whole lot more. But I feel those that I've mentioned are some of the very important elements.
Take 2 way communication for example. If you open up a whole lot to another, it doesnt mean the other person is actually opening up as much as you are. Though he /she always say 'yeah! I am! /I'll try!" it isn't always 100%. And many ppl get really hurt by that. Cos it feels like you are giving out so much effort to be open and real, but it doesnt work the same for the other person. You are not receiving the same efforts you have made and thus feeling like this aren't working out fine. Making you look so as if you are so desperate = an idiot. How many of you out there have such experience? SO the question here is what should we do? Should we continue w the sincerity that we are showing or just close up? but then again, it feels really painful and heart breaking to walk out on the ppl we love right? Cause we really don't want to loose them. It could be that there are so much that u have been thru together that by just closing up, it's just the saddess most depressing thing to do! Especially if they r ppl who means alot to us.
Sometimes I myself get really confused too. I will sit down so many times just to ponder bout what I've done wrong. Have I been really sincere? Is purely just wanting to love and show love to others that wrong? You mean ppl dont need love nowadays? Is opening to others that difficut to do? Does showing love to others hurt them? Cause they might get that we have other intentions in mind?
I like showing love to others in ways of hugging or telling them I love them everyday, showing my appreciation by telling it to them. It's because I want others to be assured that they are being loved. Also because I love and appreciate such actions of love too. I beleive loving someone aint just by showing it in actions. But very importantly, it's also by voicing it out! Making it known to the ppl whom I love. Yes! Action speaks louder than words! I agree! But why is it so difficult to say it out to others! To give that assurance. Is "Dad I love you! or Mummy I love you! or " Hey bro! che loves you" or "Dear, I love and appreciate you!" so difficult to say? Or by just giving a nice warm hug so diffcult and uneasy?
But sadly, Other ppl do think that we have other intentions when we are being too real sometimes, or when we try showing them that we care or love them by giving them hugs. It can also hurt others. And when that happens, the other person will just close up, not wantind to let you know that he/she is hurt. Thinking that it will spoil the friendship/ relationship. But won't that make things even worst? There they are suffering and here ppl are trying to be all real and sincere thinking that everything is fine..It will hurt the other person too!
If that one realationship matters to you. You WILL do whatever it takes to make things work out well both ways. So I urge you my friends. Not to be afraid to be true and real. Show ur love, show your care and concern. Do whatever it takes. Trust me! If you do that, the ppl whom you love will not think that you are dump or look down on you! It WILL only make things better, and less misunderstanding!Rmber, If that one relatioship matters to you, Do Not let embarassment or fear keep you from doing what is right. You WILL go all the way and do whatever it takes!
Take 2 way communication for example. If you open up a whole lot to another, it doesnt mean the other person is actually opening up as much as you are. Though he /she always say 'yeah! I am! /I'll try!" it isn't always 100%. And many ppl get really hurt by that. Cos it feels like you are giving out so much effort to be open and real, but it doesnt work the same for the other person. You are not receiving the same efforts you have made and thus feeling like this aren't working out fine. Making you look so as if you are so desperate = an idiot. How many of you out there have such experience? SO the question here is what should we do? Should we continue w the sincerity that we are showing or just close up? but then again, it feels really painful and heart breaking to walk out on the ppl we love right? Cause we really don't want to loose them. It could be that there are so much that u have been thru together that by just closing up, it's just the saddess most depressing thing to do! Especially if they r ppl who means alot to us.
Sometimes I myself get really confused too. I will sit down so many times just to ponder bout what I've done wrong. Have I been really sincere? Is purely just wanting to love and show love to others that wrong? You mean ppl dont need love nowadays? Is opening to others that difficut to do? Does showing love to others hurt them? Cause they might get that we have other intentions in mind?
I like showing love to others in ways of hugging or telling them I love them everyday, showing my appreciation by telling it to them. It's because I want others to be assured that they are being loved. Also because I love and appreciate such actions of love too. I beleive loving someone aint just by showing it in actions. But very importantly, it's also by voicing it out! Making it known to the ppl whom I love. Yes! Action speaks louder than words! I agree! But why is it so difficult to say it out to others! To give that assurance. Is "Dad I love you! or Mummy I love you! or " Hey bro! che loves you" or "Dear, I love and appreciate you!" so difficult to say? Or by just giving a nice warm hug so diffcult and uneasy?
But sadly, Other ppl do think that we have other intentions when we are being too real sometimes, or when we try showing them that we care or love them by giving them hugs. It can also hurt others. And when that happens, the other person will just close up, not wantind to let you know that he/she is hurt. Thinking that it will spoil the friendship/ relationship. But won't that make things even worst? There they are suffering and here ppl are trying to be all real and sincere thinking that everything is fine..It will hurt the other person too!
If that one realationship matters to you. You WILL do whatever it takes to make things work out well both ways. So I urge you my friends. Not to be afraid to be true and real. Show ur love, show your care and concern. Do whatever it takes. Trust me! If you do that, the ppl whom you love will not think that you are dump or look down on you! It WILL only make things better, and less misunderstanding!Rmber, If that one relatioship matters to you, Do Not let embarassment or fear keep you from doing what is right. You WILL go all the way and do whatever it takes!
"Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that there is something more important than fear."
posted by Rachs at
10:45 AM
6 Comments:
Actually i still think action does a better job then words.. I also think "talk is cheap"... Someone, or I could sing a love song or say how deeply in love I am with the other, but fail to prove so in action, or worse didn't even meant it in the first place.
But nonetheless, the "saying how much your love is, is already an action which need much courage to initiate in the first place ..hmmm...i seems contradicting...anyway just don't think so much and do what ever you gotta do to "love" the other person, maybe the drawback of the other person is just a "shyness" or what ever you call it.
And finally i think, courage isn't a judgement of something more important than fear, but courage only belong's to those who overcome their fear.
good day and good bye.
I think what u meant by "courage only belongs to those who overcome their fear" is similar as what I mentioned bout "courage is not the absence of fear but the judgement that there is something more important than fear"
Because when we can judge that when in a particular situation that there is something more important that we need to take note of rather than being fearful, then, it's when we actually have the courage to place aside fear and do what is more important than fearing. thus resulting in being able to overcome fear!
So that's why when that fear is being ovecome, then we can say that courage belongs to that one person who overcomes his/her fears.
So that's why I say what we both mention is quite similar. Just in other context or perspective. =)(hope u get me here..haha)
But really appreciate ur oppinion!Glad that there's some discussion here.=)
Auntie here says - when you express your love, do it unconditionally. Don't expect to get the same back. You know why? It's not that others won't love you back - it's that everyone shows their love in a different way. Some are just not comfortable expressing it.
Like my mom and dad. My dad's ultimate expression of love is to stand on the balcony and watch me drive me away when I'm going for an important appointment. He never says I love you , and when I say it to him, he will look away and just say "great!"
My mom's response is "aiya, you know I don't know how to say things like that."
So let people be comfortable expressing how much they want to express, in their own unique way. And you continue to express what you want to express in your own unique way.
I love you, Rachel. Miss you. Miss all of you!
Hi, just found your blog.
Well, different people have different love language. We understand love differently. A hug to you is sincerely & purely friendship, but a hug to me could mean that "she's in love with me??"... You know? that kind of thing.
Understand others' love language, & help them understand yours, to avoid any misunderstanding.
I love your last phrase, the one about COURAGE. It's really cool.
yah!yah!i agree with aunt janet, how my mama show love to me is she ll keep on asking me to drink water.
To Aunty Janet, Joash & ugy but adorable Tuck =P,
Thanks for coming by and dropping your say! Really appreciate your tots and well u guys kinda made me realise that there are other love languages out there other than mine..I will make more effort to apprecaite the diff love languages arnd!
BUT! I still hope that others will try to make the effort to express their love verbally..cos I have experienced the beauty of it & it's magical moments by making that effort and I wish others to experience it as well! Will make things not that complicated at times! =)
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