I need to buck up! When is MY time gonna come??

Gosh I seriously need to! With my ad ideas! Seriously since leaving 95%, I havent gotten a chance to do any advertising job. Reading all of my friends blog whom are in the core of the
 advertising world, really makes me feel so out of the world in this ad industry. So envy! I feel so disconnected with you guys too! I'm so missing all of you!

All the challenges and awards and the happenings in the ad world! I'm SOOOOOOOOOO MISSING IT~!! =(... sigh..

Oh well not to say I don't face challenges now at my current job. When you have to oversee the whole design dept and think of art direction for photography on model shoots plus looking for potential clients, doing proposals and them meeting client, attending events, covering travel places to feature, sometimes even do writing and do design work at the same time.. Oh and plus having 3 interns under me right now.(Interns are making me 
vomit blood..ok intern story another day) Wow! I'm like your one and all package woman!!LOL...well all these are definitely challenging. Just somthing missing. Ok dont get me wrong. I'm not saying I dont love my job now.. I absolutely do, I just feel that there are some
pieces missing.

A part of me I really want to venture out there, taking the challenges that awaits. I feel like bursting out, riding the waves. Getting wild in what I wanna do. Advertising!...but a part of me I know...as for now I cant. Running the vision of my father. I know I did it willingly. But is this where God wants me to be? How long am I gonna be doing this? I feel like a lil girl, standing infront of a happening playground, looking at all her friends enjoying themselves. Playing, so happy with what they are doing. Though we are standing on the same playground..but I'm, barred up in the middle. Only being able to watch what others are doing but not able to join in.

I'm so unsure. So afraid at times. Afraid of being left behind. There are so many things I wanna do. Getting involve in another field which I can also contribute in with my expertise. I'm already at this age. How long more can I still venture and hop here and there to try
out new stuff? There has to be a time where I should settle in a place where I feel belong and know for sure, in specific, that this is the spot on this playground where I wanna be! I'm so worried. I'm so anxious! Cant wait for the day where I see that 1 specific road clear to me on where I should be going.

But for now I know I cant.... I'm just like that lil girl behind bars, standing in the middle of a playground. Only able to watch......Janet..I so wish I can talk to you..I so wish I have the time to get back to 95% at least..to feel part of being out there in the playground with you guys.

Ok I feel like crying now. I shall just stop here. I still remember I stood up for POSSIBILITY in the training at 95%. So I shall try my very best to be that! All the memories of training has just been coming back to mind and has trully encouraged me to just keep running..Only dont know when it will be MY time.