I need to pour out....
........MELANCHOLIC...........
That's totally how I'm feeling right at this moment. Not only because of being so busy at work and stressed up bout things in the office - doing 2 person's job.
That's only a small friction of it. Morelike the current state of my life. Everything seems to be so stagnant. Nothing is moving, no doors opening. Not even a tiny lil window for me to experience something new.
Yea if u are wondering...I feel like crying...I know it's silly. Those who knows me well, will know that I'm really stressed up here tho I always say I'm alrite. But you not being me, will never know how I feel. No one I would say except God and a couple of really close frens. God knows every cry in my heart, every beat of my heart that's longing for change to my current condition. I feel that I'm being locked into this situation that I cant move to do anything that I want to. No choice but being bounded by circumstances, situations, conditions. I'm not purposely whining or complaining. I just need a place to pour out my feelings.
No one will ever understand. For once I dont look like I'm facing anything dramatic in life now. I guess it's just not me to put up my sad face when I'm around people. My mood and feeling just auto change to being the bubbly me. With all the emotions in me, people only looking at my outward appearance, will never ever notice the intensity of the emotions raving in me. Even if I were to express a lil bout how I feel, it wont come across the mind of others that I'm going thru so much. It's like unbeleivable maybe.
Other times I'm just tired of wanting to share to anyone cos no point talking bout the same stuff over again. Sometimes trying to be a lil playful trying to cheer myself up, people's response to me will be one of those 'entertaining mode'. Like they just need to entertain me that's all..and that's not really helping. When that happens, I'll just go try cheering myself with someone else or doing something else.
I always catch hold of myself quick enuff to submerge those emotions even at the verge of it spilling out. I keep on reminding myself to be positive of things. To stand strong and beleive for the better. God said in His word that He has plans for me and they are to prosper me! I CLAIM that in Jesus name! I've been reading alot of devotions and it has trully helped me to stand strong and continue to stretch my faith.
Having a friend who constantly reminds me of God's goodness and love and always encouraging does help alot. I really thank God for it. I shall not let my circumstances take over me but allow it to show God's faithfulness & greatness! If God is for me, who shall be against me?! No one! Not even the devil!!
I shall cast my cares upon Him and He SHALL sustain me. Now is just the time to put into practise all that God has taught me bout His word. Heavenly Father, thank you for lovin me today.Thank you for Your Faithfulness. Thank you for being closer 2 me than the air I breathe.
That's only a small friction of it. Morelike the current state of my life. Everything seems to be so stagnant. Nothing is moving, no doors opening. Not even a tiny lil window for me to experience something new.
Yea if u are wondering...I feel like crying...I know it's silly. Those who knows me well, will know that I'm really stressed up here tho I always say I'm alrite. But you not being me, will never know how I feel. No one I would say except God and a couple of really close frens. God knows every cry in my heart, every beat of my heart that's longing for change to my current condition. I feel that I'm being locked into this situation that I cant move to do anything that I want to. No choice but being bounded by circumstances, situations, conditions. I'm not purposely whining or complaining. I just need a place to pour out my feelings.
No one will ever understand. For once I dont look like I'm facing anything dramatic in life now. I guess it's just not me to put up my sad face when I'm around people. My mood and feeling just auto change to being the bubbly me. With all the emotions in me, people only looking at my outward appearance, will never ever notice the intensity of the emotions raving in me. Even if I were to express a lil bout how I feel, it wont come across the mind of others that I'm going thru so much. It's like unbeleivable maybe.
Other times I'm just tired of wanting to share to anyone cos no point talking bout the same stuff over again. Sometimes trying to be a lil playful trying to cheer myself up, people's response to me will be one of those 'entertaining mode'. Like they just need to entertain me that's all..and that's not really helping. When that happens, I'll just go try cheering myself with someone else or doing something else.
I always catch hold of myself quick enuff to submerge those emotions even at the verge of it spilling out. I keep on reminding myself to be positive of things. To stand strong and beleive for the better. God said in His word that He has plans for me and they are to prosper me! I CLAIM that in Jesus name! I've been reading alot of devotions and it has trully helped me to stand strong and continue to stretch my faith.
Having a friend who constantly reminds me of God's goodness and love and always encouraging does help alot. I really thank God for it. I shall not let my circumstances take over me but allow it to show God's faithfulness & greatness! If God is for me, who shall be against me?! No one! Not even the devil!!
I shall cast my cares upon Him and He SHALL sustain me. Now is just the time to put into practise all that God has taught me bout His word. Heavenly Father, thank you for lovin me today.Thank you for Your Faithfulness. Thank you for being closer 2 me than the air I breathe.
I claim Victory!! For I am Victor not a victim!! AMEN!!
p/s: I so cant wait for camp!!
p/s: I so cant wait for camp!!
posted by Rachs at
4:29 PM
1 Comments:
Rachel.. why so sad?
Come one, babe... be more cheerful. U're such a colorful and lively gal I've ever known. Take care.
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