Been thinking...
My mind is at a hault at this moment. Somehow words just cant express how I really feel inside. I've been catching up with some closer friends lately and updating them about what's been up in my life the past couple of months. Somehow after repeating myself several times. It just got me thinking again.
I guess that I'm beginning to feel the weight of the after effects of the incident. I'm doing fine with what has taken place. Just very recently, I feel the weight of it upon my shoulders. When it took place, my mind just went blank and know not what to say at all, though I have so much in mind...so much to say about it...so much to express...The whole incident is just playing in my mind over and over and over again.. Somehow knowing that I've not said and expressed everything I wanted to.
I guess I was caught unaware that it was actually coming then, until the very last moment. Leaving me with no time for preperations or whatsoever to clear my thoughts and step out of the box to take a clearer look at it. And most importantly, what I have to say and need to say when it comes. As I've not planned for it to come that soon..thinking that I would be the one who will initiate it.
Yea though things are technically settled. There's just the after effects of it. Well there's always after effects in everything that takes place in our lives right? And so here I am feeling just that. I've been doing some thinking, if I should deal with this, by talking about it. To say what I did not have time to prepare for and to clear certain clouds that are still lingering. Whatever that has taken place is somehow irreversible. It's just the matter of if it was handled well or not. And how it's being handled now. Whatever decisions that's been made isnt the factor or the problem anymore. It's what takes place hereafter that matters..and I think that if certain things aint cleared up now... It will not lead to where we want it to be. Prayers that's been made and what has been committed to God will not come to past. It'll all just be wasted. Cos we aint walking along the journey of what we said in those prayers.
Somehow I'm thankful that things went well. So close yet so far. I'm thankful for the understanding that this is the best and I'm proud of being able to handle it well so far. Just that I've never been into something like that before. Sometimes still wondering how all this just came up. I see it as a lesson to learn from and a bigger perspective to comprehend. It will definitely remain as something significant to me. It may seem insignificant for others, yet this has left a mark. God, help me see beyond all this I pray. As I move on, help me be a victor who can still encourage others and be a blessing too. Let no one satisfy me but You Lord. From this moment on, I so need wisdom from you Lord. Let not anything be awkward.
I guess that I'm beginning to feel the weight of the after effects of the incident. I'm doing fine with what has taken place. Just very recently, I feel the weight of it upon my shoulders. When it took place, my mind just went blank and know not what to say at all, though I have so much in mind...so much to say about it...so much to express...The whole incident is just playing in my mind over and over and over again.. Somehow knowing that I've not said and expressed everything I wanted to.
I guess I was caught unaware that it was actually coming then, until the very last moment. Leaving me with no time for preperations or whatsoever to clear my thoughts and step out of the box to take a clearer look at it. And most importantly, what I have to say and need to say when it comes. As I've not planned for it to come that soon..thinking that I would be the one who will initiate it.
Yea though things are technically settled. There's just the after effects of it. Well there's always after effects in everything that takes place in our lives right? And so here I am feeling just that. I've been doing some thinking, if I should deal with this, by talking about it. To say what I did not have time to prepare for and to clear certain clouds that are still lingering. Whatever that has taken place is somehow irreversible. It's just the matter of if it was handled well or not. And how it's being handled now. Whatever decisions that's been made isnt the factor or the problem anymore. It's what takes place hereafter that matters..and I think that if certain things aint cleared up now... It will not lead to where we want it to be. Prayers that's been made and what has been committed to God will not come to past. It'll all just be wasted. Cos we aint walking along the journey of what we said in those prayers.
Somehow I'm thankful that things went well. So close yet so far. I'm thankful for the understanding that this is the best and I'm proud of being able to handle it well so far. Just that I've never been into something like that before. Sometimes still wondering how all this just came up. I see it as a lesson to learn from and a bigger perspective to comprehend. It will definitely remain as something significant to me. It may seem insignificant for others, yet this has left a mark. God, help me see beyond all this I pray. As I move on, help me be a victor who can still encourage others and be a blessing too. Let no one satisfy me but You Lord. From this moment on, I so need wisdom from you Lord. Let not anything be awkward.
posted by Rachs at
12:10 PM
1 Comments:
And there, in every unplanned journey that we took, was a discovery ready for us to uncover upon arrival...and that discovery almost often revealed God's plan..so many a times God's plans are found on the trail we never planned to take, which tells us why many still go around asking what's the meaning of all these...so in the toughest of times, where there is confusion, cluttered visions, after effects taking forms of emotions, look deeper for the discovery, and you'll find this...when He TAKES away something, many a times this is tangible, He GIVES you another clue that brings u closer to Him, and many a times, this is intangible...So if all of life is about the Lord's purpose, then all of discoveries lead to Him, hence we will find Joy in every unplanned path that we have to take.
I pray your discoveries inspire the lives u come in touch with and may you always surrender all to Him....
Take care Rachel...
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