somethings surface when you least expect... could be hilarious!

Lately I've been helping mum do some spring cleaning at home. That's like the routine everytime when dad goes on a business trip. That's a whole new other funny story why mum always choose to spring clean when dad isnt around! LOL...anyhow! So while spring cleaning, guess what I found? My old pieces of so called journals where I just scribble on any piece of paper that I can find when I'm angry and needed to rant or just when I'm all soft and emo-ed up and need to pour my whole heart out somewhere. I forgot that I actually compiled it and left it in some drawers. Even found a piece of letter that I wrote to a friend telling her bout the 1st guy I ever liked and how some big mouth friends whom I trusted so much, betrayed me and told the guy himself that I like him. Lol!! I must say that it was so hillarious to be reading all those!! The way I'd express myself and pour out! Gee!! So not me now! I've so conveniently forgotten about that pile of stuff I wrote.

That pile of stuff was so filled with all the negative experience that I've gone through and the times I felt like such a misfit and lonely and all in my own world of "nobody likes me" low self esteem days. Also some personal issue that I'd never in my life time tell a single human..that kinda stuff that teenager would go through - I dont know what scared me more. That I was like that then or that I've kept it so securely for so long!

And I trully thank God that I somehow made it!~ I mean I'm quite the changed me compare to those days. Not psycho or insecure or have low self esteem. Still whacky and strange at times, I know, and somehow still a misfit in certain areas - but I'm cool with it. Sometimes I feel comfy being all different even to the point I have to speak up and stand my ground. Being a loner in certain mind sets doesnt bother me. Cos I know I have my principals and values and I stand on.
I'm funky & whacky!! Hahaha!!!

So! I decided that it's prolly high time to just let go of the past like throwing all those written so called pieces of  'journal'. I'm gonna compile everything this weekend and burnt it. I bet it'll be therepeutic to watch the past burn away. Did it really happen or is it merely a figment of my perception? We all perceive things differently so who knows what is 'the truth' anyway? Hmmm...

Well I'm going throught yet another storm. It's heading my way and like I said in my earlier post. I tell myself the best thing to do is prolly just to stand there and let it just hit me! Prolly it is time. I need to be ready for another level of personal growth. And another new chapter of my life.