Being loving...that difficult?

Loving the people around us is not easy. Not even close. Whether it is family, friends, or a romantic relationship, it demands so much from us. Two-way communication, openness, understanding, tolerance, perseverance, and patience. And so much more beyond even that. But those, I think, sit at the very heart of it.

Take two-way communication, for example. Just because you open up fully to someone does not mean they are opening up equally in return. Even when they say they will, even when they mean it, it does not always translate into the same depth of effort. And that hurts. It hurts because you are pouring yourself out, being real and raw and vulnerable, and somehow it still does not feel like it is landing the same way on the other side. You start to wonder if you are giving too much, if you look desperate, or if you are the only one truly trying.

How many of you have been there?

So what do you do?
Do you keep showing up with that same sincerity?
Or do you close yourself off to protect what is left?
And yet closing off feels like its own kind of heartbreak, especially when it involves someone you cannot imagine losing. Someone with whom you have shared so much. Walking away or shutting down feels like the saddest possible ending.

I find myself sitting with this often. Turning it over and over.
Wondering what I did wrong, or whether I did anything wrong at all. Is wanting to love people and show them love actually the problem?
Do people not need love anymore?
Is it really so hard to receive it without reading something else into it?

I am someone who loves through hugs, through words, through simply telling the people I care about that I love them. Not because I want anything in return, but because I want them to feel certain that they are loved. And because I personally treasure that kind of love too. I believe that love is not only expressed through action. It must also be spoken. Why is it so difficult to say "Dad, I love you" or "Hey, I appreciate you" or to offer a warm, genuine hug?
Why do such simple acts of love feel so loaded to some people?

And yet sometimes, our sincerity is misread. Our warmth is perceived as having an agenda. And when that happens, the other person quietly withdraws without saying a word, not wanting to rock the boat, not wanting to damage the friendship. But in protecting the relationship from one kind of discomfort, they create another.
And both people end up hurting in silence.

So I want to say this plainly. If a relationship matters to you, do not let fear or embarrassment stop you from doing what is right. Be real. Show your love. Show your care. You will not look foolish for it. You will not be looked down upon for it.
What you will do is create the space for things to become clearer, warmer and less tangled with misunderstanding.

Do not let fear have the final word.

As someone once said, courage is not the absence of fear. It is the decision that something matters more than the fear itself.