Letting Go...

Let me share an illustration.

Have you ever been window shopping and come across something you really love, something that feels almost one of a kind? You want it so badly, but you realise you don’t have enough money for it at the moment. So you tell yourself, “It’s okay, I’ll save up and come back for it.”

And so you do.

Every time you’re at the mall, you make it a point to check if it’s still there. Each time you see it sitting in the same spot, you feel relieved. Happy, even. You tell yourself, “Soon, it will be mine.”

You keep saving. You keep checking.

Time passes.

Then one day, you walk into the store again, full of hope, only to find out that it’s gone. Someone else has bought it.

Just like that.

After all that waiting, all that saving, all that quiet hope you held onto, it slips away. And you’re left with only one choice. TO LET IT GO. Maybe even to hope that something better will come along.

That’s exactly how I feel right now.

It’s not easy to let go of something you’ve held in your heart for so many years.

IT IS NOT THAT THINGS ARE DIFFICULT THAT WE DO NOT DARE.
It is because we do not dare that things become difficult.

Maybe it really is time to let go. Because deep down, I know that this “item” was never going to be mine anyway.

Perhaps what’s holding me back is fear. The fear of letting go. Because once I do, the space that was once filled with so much hope will feel empty. And I don’t want to feel that emptiness.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been holding on. And maybe that’s why it has felt so difficult to face reality.

I remember coming across this quote before and thinking how powerful it was. I even used it to encourage a couple of friends. But somehow along the way, I forgot about it.

Until today.

I saw it again on Janet’s blog. What a coincidence. Or maybe not.

Sometimes it’s so easy to encourage others, but when it comes to living it out ourselves, it takes a different kind of strength.

I know I need courage to let this go.

I once wrote this in a post last year, 

"Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that there is something more important than fear."
And again today, I came across another line on Janet’s blog.
Courage : an action that springs from the heart. All action inspired by a center of true love brings with itself security and firmness that cannot be disturbed. To be courageous is to know that fear offers no resistance to love.

How many coincidences can happen in a day?

Maybe these are not coincidences at all. Maybe I was meant to see this. Maybe this is my wake up call.

It’s time to let go.

Face reality. It’s already gone, Rach.

I just need to remind myself that there is something more important than the fear of letting this go. And that is the people around me. The ones I love. The ones who understand what I’ve been going through. The ones who care deeply for me.

They matter more.

I don’t want to disappoint them. I want to rise with courage, to overcome this.

So I will choose to stand on the ground of reality and accept what is. Even though I know it will be difficult. Because I will still be reminded of it from time to time.

But I pray for grace. I pray for strength.

I choose to let love be stronger than fear.

And I trust that this decision I’m making in this season of my life is one that is led by love.

p.s. Sorry if this feels a little vague to some of you. I think this is just my way of beginning to let it go.