I wonder why it lingers still...

Sitting here in front of my computer, listening to a song that brings back so much of that feeling.

Hearing it again takes me right back to that place. A place of wondering, imagining… almost like stepping into my own little fairy tale world.

And somehow, it leads me back to the same thoughts again.

I know I’ve dealt with my part. But there’s always the other side. The part that doesn’t belong to me. The feelings that were never mine to fully understand.

Deep down, I wish I knew that side of the story.

It’s still unknown. Still a mystery to me. I wonder if I will ever know. I wonder if it will ever be untangled. I wonder if one day it will finally be revealed.

I keep asking myself the same questions over and over again. Questions I cannot answer, because the answers were never mine to begin with. They belong to the one who once spoke those words to me.

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time. Just to respond differently. Just to take that moment more seriously. Just to understand what was truly behind those words.

I wonder what made you say them.
I wonder if you meant them.
I wonder if it could have ever become what I once imagined it to be.

Sigh… but now, it’s too late.

And so, it becomes a story that only lives in my own little world. A quiet fairy tale that exists only in my thoughts.

I wish fairy tales were not just meant for imagination. I wish they could become real.

I wish mine would.

I wonder how long this feeling will stay. Even when I try to deny it, it still lingers. Maybe because there is no point acknowledging something that will never come to be.

There’s a part of me that is afraid. Afraid of losing something that was never really mine. Afraid that this was always just a story I created in my own mind.

Afraid that this wondering heart will never be found by you.

Maybe the only thing left to do is to wake up from this dream and face reality.

Because even when there is hope, there is no certainty.

And perhaps, if I could ever turn back time… or if I could just hear your answer…

That would be the only thing that could quiet this lingering heart of mine.

Until then… it remains.