I'm talking to myself...

Aihh… I guess when you hold a different place in someone’s heart compared to others, the way things feel can be very different.

And sometimes, as much as it hurts, you realise you can’t compare yourself to the people who have been there long before you. It’s just… different. I don’t even know how to explain it properly. It just can’t be compared.

And yes, it feels a little sad right now.

So I start asking myself… Is it just who I am, or is it something I did?

Am I pushing too hard? Leaving too many signs that I probably shouldn’t have?
Or am I just being overly sensitive?
Or maybe it’s the position I hold in this person’s life that makes everything feel more complicated than it should be?

If I’m honest, I’d rather believe that it’s just me being sensitive. It feels easier that way. Like maybe I’m just overthinking, and nothing is actually wrong.

Then again… Rachel, count your blessings.

If you didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be receiving the attention and care that you do, right?

So be content.
Be patient.
Learn that fruit of the Spirit.

Hold on to this…
“It’s not what’s said about you or done to you that shapes your life, but what you say and believe about yourself.”

So, Rach… what do you believe?

Okay… Sorry, peeps. Don’t mind my random ramblings.
Just a moment of talking to myself.