The List

Folks, I know I’ve got loads to update. The trip with my friends, the one I was ridiculously excited about. Yes yes, I haven’t forgotten.

But somehow… this has been sitting on my heart lately, and it feels more important to share.

I recently started reading a book on marriage. Not just the romantic, fairy tale version we all grew up imagining, but the real, intimate, everyday kind of marriage. And honestly, it opened up a whole new perspective for me.

Marriage isn’t just two people saying “I do” and then magically living happily ever after. We all hope for that, of course. But there is so much more beneath those simple words we hear at every wedding.

What really struck me is the role of a woman.

We always celebrate mothers, and rightly so. But beyond that, the role of a wife carries so much weight. So much influence. More than we sometimes realise.

A woman has the ability to shape the atmosphere of a home. The way she responds, the choices she makes, and the sacrifices she’s willing to give. These things quietly build the foundation of a family. In many ways, she becomes the bridge, even between the children and the father. The anchor, the connector, the one who holds things together.

There’s still so much I’m trying to find words for. But the more I read, the more I feel inspired.

Not just to dream about marriage one day, but to actually prepare for it.

And that got me thinking.

We girls… okay, women… let’s be honest, we all have that list. That secret list of what we want in a guy. The qualities, the standards, the expectations.

But lately I’ve been asking myself a different question.

Instead of focusing so much on what I want, what am I becoming?

Where is the list of what I can offer?

What kind of woman am I building myself to be? In my character, my maturity, my ability to give, to support, and to stand alongside someone as a partner.

We often talk about wanting security, wanting a man who pours into us, protects us, and leads well. And yes, there is truth in that. But if we only stay there, it becomes a little one-sided.

Men are human too.

They were not created just to give and give while we sit back and receive. God designed both to support, to serve, and to submit to one another in love.

It’s not about who gives more. It’s about how both choose to show up.

So instead of just refining my list of what I want, I’ve started writing a list of who I want to become. The kind of partner I would be proud to bring into a relationship. The kind of wife and mother I want to grow into.

Because at the end of the day, love is not just about finding the right person.

It’s about becoming someone who knows how to love well.

And honestly, I think this applies both ways.

Guys, instead of just checking whether a girl fits your “ideal type", maybe pause and ask yourself the same question. What kind of man are you becoming? Can you lead, protect, provide, and love in a way that gives someone real security?

You weren’t created just to admire from afar. You’ve got a calling too.

Anyway… that’s what’s been on my mind.

Ladies, maybe it’s time we start a different kind of list.

One that shapes us, not just our expectations.

Who knows… Maybe we should share those lists someday.