... what IF ...

I’ve been completely zonked the past few days.

Work, work, and more work. Been leaving the office close to 3am almost the whole week. At some point everything just blurs into one long stretch of deadlines and screens.

But I’m really thankful for friends who checked in on me. Whether it was a quick message, a call, or just keeping me company online. Those small moments really made a difference.

And finally… I’m done.

Finished the design work. Completed the issue. And every single time I reach this point, I feel the same thing. That rush of relief, satisfaction, and quiet pride. Like, okay… I made it through.

Even with all the frustrating bits along the way. Endless changes, files that refuse to download, agencies that make you question life choices. But I guess that’s part of the process. Dealing with people, navigating situations, and learning patience. It all shapes you, whether you like it or not.

Then today, out of nowhere, mum asked me a “what if” question.

You know how mums are. They observe things. They notice shifts before you even realise it yourself. And of course, when it comes to matters of the heart, they are always the first to ask.

To be fair, my mum is actually quite cool and open about these things. But still… her question made me pause.

Not because I’ve never thought about it.

I have.

Long before she asked.

I guess I’ve just kept those thoughts to myself. Haven’t really said them out loud. And somehow writing a little here feels like letting a bit of it breathe.

At the end of the day, there’s nothing I can’t bring before God.

So I’m choosing to trust Him in this area. Not letting whatever is happening around me stir me up too much. I believe He already knows the full picture, even the parts I can’t see yet.

Of course, I’m still human. There’s curiosity. There are moments where I wonder. But that’s as far as it goes for now.

If that “what if” ever becomes a real question… I already know my answer.

But that one, I’ll keep to myself for now. ;)

Truth is, there’s only so much I can do anyway. I’m not the initiator here. And as outspoken and bold as I can be in most areas… when it comes to this, I suddenly wish I were the guy.

Honestly, I think I’d make quite a great boyfriend… if I were one. :)